I’ve been pondering upon this ideal of loyalty lately and it has been very liberating from a lot of bondage—literally and metaphorically speaking.
After doing some reflection and research, loyalty can have a negative connotation because people simply do not value it's truth and misuse and abuse it.
I used to think loyalty was what I needed to show others that I am a good person within their lives to always keep, but I was associating undeserving people with my actions, morals, and values. This is what I learned.
With knowledge, you have the power to know, and with knowing you have a choice. A choice to know truth or tail.
I used to want to prove my loyalty to others by making decisions for their benefit, and possibly mine as a bonus or side effect. Regardless, I'd put them first. What a compromise, right? That's the place I once was in until I became comfortable with the uncomfortable and it became my reality--so much more than second nature to be committed and faithful to anything I set my mind on--to become consistent for myself.
That was the game-changer. I set my intentions on becoming consistent in that area of commitment and faithfulness for myself.
And I'm not even talking commitment in a romantic way--I'm referencing riding for someone or something until the wheels fall off.
To be faithful is a continuation of freedom, therefore you can never dwell outside of that,
and then I realized wow, I deserve this. Introspection served it's purpose as I questioned myself:
If I'm doing this for others so selflessly and effortlessly, why am I not receiving this myself from myself nor from those whom I give to?
This madness of self-analysis was exactly what I needed to challenge myself to pump the breaks from allowing disloyal people into my space and the continuation of compromise I had in my life. I began to think of my blood-line. My great grandmother was born a slave, she found liberation before the grave. That within itself served an abundant purpose for me not to tolerate the BS from others. If she could do it, I know that I can do it, and if she went through it, I know that I can too.
I have tools, I cannot forget to use.
Something that I've learned in the month of June is that it is not my problem that people mishandle/mismanage me.
That is for them to realize and learn, and not my burden to bare. I must continue on because my mind has been so much more elevated than the surface level.
I'm on a mission.
Everybody doesn’t deserve your commitment, your faithfulness, or your loyalty no matter how much you want to show/prove to them. It was never meant for you to prove in the first place, and that's what I made an addition to my lesson learned in the month of July.
Teresa is Teresa for a reason, and I'm choosing that reason. I choose freedom. I will ride for myself until the wheels fall off. I am committed to myself. I am loyal to myself. I am faithful to myself and to my purpose. I deserve this.
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