Emotions can be just as strong, if not stronger than our physical sense of touch. Lately, I've been emotional and sensitive. I've acknowledged the many emotions and feelings I've been having, but haven't done anything about them. They require a release.
I made up my mind at the beginning of the year to face my emotions rather than running away from them or going through the motions of removing them as I have done in my past. I realized I can do all of this "self care" and have all of this "me time" as much as we want, but that is only superficial. I can continue to drink endless cups of herbal teas, take the longest bath, and go get facials until my bank account is empty, but I'll continue to feel the same way I did before as I will after unless I confront what I'm feeling on the inside.
I'm starting to see the importance of calling out my emotions, whether I'm speaking to a friend on the phone about how I feel or even saying it to myself in the mirror--that confrontation is the next step to releasing that hinderance of those pesky emotions I bottle up inside so dearly. Last night I became so swamped with emotions that I snapped on someone (who may have deserved it, but I need to let God handle them), and it triggered more emotions in me I never resolved from the many days before so everything was amplified. My reaction. My words. My temperament. All things I could control, I gave my power over to my emotions once again. I didn't feel all to great after that, but I saw I released something which is what I needed. After that, I felt so overwhelmed that I could cry, but I only released one tear.
It's not enough knowing I can cry a river, but I've definitely come to build a wall of vulnerability, but not transparency due to pride and I believe that keeps me from fully releasing what I need to.
I wouldn't have came to this realization if I hadn't took the crucial step of calling out my emotions though. I'm learning and growing every day and I hope to become stable in all of my ways, therefore I can go on to bigger and better things. As for now, I'm getting the little things down which is very much needed. Thank you for reading this semi-emotional rant yet realization.
Not a rant at all this is definitely truth and it even helps me realize that i need to holistically release instead of in pieces that result in temporary peace.